Why I make my teenagers’ beds.

Since I stopped working, I have a new daily routine. After dropping my kids off at school, I come back home and turn into the Ritz Carlton housekeeping staff.

Beds get made with the top sheets folded back and tucked tightly under the mattress. Pillows are fluffed. Bath towels are picked up off the floor, washed, folded and hung on their respective towel bars. I wipe away dried toothpaste in the bathroom sinks and snap open the blinds.

All the laundry gets sorted for each child, washed, folded neatly and put away.  My goal is an empty laundry hamper every single day. I figure that if I stay on top of it during the week, there will be no laundry to do on weekends for a change. No more frantic search for Wednesday’s mandatory “dress” uniform. It’s right where it should be, hanging in the closet.

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Then the kitchen is cleaned up from breakfast, the dishwasher is emptied and the dogs are fed. It takes most of the morning.

And I enjoy it. It’s really very satisfying. Don’t judge me.

I went from making Power Point presentations that help trustees make strategic decisions to folding practice jerseys that make getting out the door easier for two teenagers.

Is it as important? No. It’s more important. I love these two people. They have one mom, one home…one escape of their own.

Now, I did none of this while I was working, of course. I rushed out the door right alongside them each morning, no time to care about what was left behind except to wonder if I’d turned off the flat iron.

By the way, we have a signed contract with our kids that specifies if clothes are found on the bathroom floor, the culprit loses cell phone privileges for a day. So I spent a lot of evenings announcing, I’m about to go upstairs! There are no clothes on the bathroom floors right? Followed by the sound of footsteps racing to beat me to the scene of the crime.

I used to get ticked off at the idea of making the beds for perfectly able-bodied 14-year-olds. No way should we take their laundered clothes upstairs, much less put it away or pick it up from the bathroom floor. How will they learn? More typically, I would get annoyed at the messes that seem to trail them through the house, yelling at them that they were slobs and needed to do their part.

Can you guys please take your clothes upstairs already…and your shoes?

But here’s the thing: I’ve started to really see what their days are like these past few weeks. I mean I can feel the pressure and stress they are under. These kids are so over-scheduled and overworked that if I can give them a backdrop of comfort and ease…even of beauty, it seems to me they will become accustomed to that kind of order and do it for themselves as adults. Maybe it will irritate them to see ugly messes and they’ll be compelled to tidy up their dorm rooms. Maybe not.

I do it for them anyway. I do it out of love.

I didn’t make a big deal about it. I just did it. I curbed my complaining too. I heard my daughter squeal in surprised delight one night when she went to her room, Look at my closet!

Last night that sweet girl came home from softball practice close to 7 p.m., hungry and exhausted after a very long school day. She quickly showered, ate dinner and started on her nightly homework marathon.

First she tackled a five-minute speech on the end of World War II which she is delivering as though it were a news broadcast. The BBC didn’t put that much thinking into the actual coverage. It was ten minutes too long. She rehearsed it in a British accent. Then she tried it in the clipped, formal style of American news reels of the era.

It’s enough baby. It’s great. Stop. 

When I went to bed after 11 she was still working at the kitchen table, bleary-eyed and close to tears, finishing Algebra. Her brother had wrapped it up only moments earlier. I could barely keep my own eyes open and she still had to find x.

I went upstairs, turned down the sheets on her bed, layered in her favorite Camp Seafarer blanket and placed a chocolate on her pillow.

2 thoughts on “Why I make my teenagers’ beds.”

  1. Lucy, I have liked all your posts but this one made me cry. Nobody understands what being a mother is until they become one. Nobody can tell another mother what is the right way for her to do things because it is a unique art and not a science. I have done things for my family that I never would have thought I would do or even that I should do. I just did them because my heart or my brain or my soul told me to do it. Making special meals, ironing uniform shirts, staying up late just because they need you,driving to Tallahasee on the spur of the moment, filling applications, bathing dogs, forgiving the unforgivable and on and on… most special of all making a loving home. These things that you do for love you know are right and you don’t need anyone to tell you that they are. What happens while you are doing them is that your heart grows bigger. You become a better person. You are infinitely apreciative of what your mother did for you. We are on a journey within ourselves to become the best that we can be.

    Sent from my iPhone

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    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Carmen. You were and ARE a GREAT mom. When I think about Mami in her later years when she was mellower and less hassled, she gave me what I most cherish of all the many wonderful memories…that total acceptance and love. I miss her so much.

    I’m trying. I told Hannah that I’m also working on my ability to listen with an open heart and I need her help by telling me stuff so I can practice. I want her (and Jake) to be able to tell me what they feel and think and know I will accept and let them be who they are. We don’t have to always be CORRECTING THEM. I think my greatest role, above any, is just to love my children. We can’t get that wrong. Thanks again.

    Like

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